


I Will Breathe

by TwilightsInferno



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friendship, Heart-to-Heart, One Shot, Written pre-Icicle Cometh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 04:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16590674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightsInferno/pseuds/TwilightsInferno
Summary: Barry and Caitlin have a long overdue heart to heart after they get stranded in the search for her father.





	I Will Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a truely amazing prompt by @mystiqueenchant on Twitter, who also was a fantastic collaborator with me on this, and the promo pictures for 5x06 that were recently released

_ I Will Breathe. _

_ I will think of solutions. _

_ I will not let my worry control me. _

_ I will not let my stress level break me. _

_ I will simply breathe and it will _

_ be okay because I don't quit.  _

 

_ -Shayne McClendon _

  
  
  


A breach broke open midair and Barry, Caitlin, and Cisco suddenly fell through it into a snowdrift below. All three groaning slightly as they began to shift.

“Cisco, you okay?” Barry called, grimacing a little as he sat up in the snow.

“Yeah, yeah,” Cisco’s voice came while Barry pulled himself up, helping Caitlin along the way.

“Are you okay?” He asked her too, helping her find her footing.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” She confirmed clicking on her flashlight. Barry followed suit using the indirect light to quickly cast his eyes over her and see if she was really okay. Only to find her eyes on him too, “You?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I'm good.”

“A little help guys,” Cisco called from the snow and he and Caitlin quickly rushed to their friend's aid, pulling him up out of the drift and dusting the snow off each other.

“What happened, man?” Barry asked zipping his parka up further and readjusting his beanie against the cold air.

“It was my bad. My breaching has been on the fritz since tall, dark, and deadly tried to kill me,” Cisco grumbled, cradling the hand Cicada had injured.

“Let me see,” Caitlin ordered, grabbing Cisco's hand then removing his glove partially and raising her flashlight to examine his bandaged palm. Her lips pursed as she looked it over before seemingly finishing her assessment and pulling the glove back down, “It's still healing, slowly. We'll have to wait a few hours before you can breach again. Can't be too careful, if another breach goes wrong we could risk appearing at the bottom of the ocean or falling out of the sky.”

“Neither of which sound appealing,” Barry pitched in earning a small smile from both of them.

“So what are we supposed to do now?” Cisco asked looking around them. The sky was dark as it was already deep into night, snow flurries in the air becoming heavier as the temperature dropped every moment they stood out here, and the only thing near them seemed to be a small power station, visible by its outdoor security lights, a ways down the abandoned road they had fallen by.

Barry pulled out his phone only to sigh, “Well, there's no reception and we haven't got a clue where we are.  _ And _ it's getting colder. We need to find someplace to stay until Cisco can breach again.”

“The only thing around is that power station. We should check there,” Caitlin concluded with a nod. Agreeing, Barry and Cisco followed her lead as they trudged up the snowy road.

Once they reached the station they saw a car in the parking lot and a light on inside, after exchanging a look with both of them Barry knocked on the door. They waited but no sound came from the other side. Barry tried the handle only to find it locked and just when he prepared to vibrate the knob loose it was yanked from his grasp as the door swung wide.

“Hello?” The man asked, looking at them curiously. He was dressed like a simple office worker and looked tired.

“Um... hi,” Barry started awkwardly look at his friends for help but they looked just as confused as him about what to say. He wrung his hands desperate for something to come to his mind, “We were just passing by and...”

“Our car got stolen!” Cisco shot out, getting a quick glare from Caitlin.

“Yeah, stolen,” Barry continued, “And it's really late so--”

Caitlin placed a hand on his arm to stop him, “We were wondering if we could stay here for a few hours until our friend can come pick us up.”

The worker blinked slowly as he processed their words and looked them over, “I uh... yeah I guess, come on in.”

“Thank you so much,” Caitlin smiled at the man sweetly and it seemed to put him a little more at ease, Barry couldn't blame him.

“There's a break room down the hall, I'll just be in here finishing up some work.”

The three said more thank you’s, Barry even shook his hand, before they headed to the break room. Caitlin was quick to make Cisco take the sofa, to get the optimal rest, while she and Barry made themselves comfortable on the floor using their backpacks as pillows and making the most of the blankets they had found in the storeroom.

But while Cisco fell asleep quickly Barry had no such luck, he stared up at the ceiling listening to the heating unit buzz, the worker shuffling his papers in the next room, and the breathing of his friends. While one was deep and steady the other was soft, almost nonexistent and occasionally shook.

He turned his head towards the noise and saw Caitlin sitting up, her back against the side of the couch as she stared at a spot on the wall. Brown eyes glazed over and distant, so deep in thought. His own eyes drifted over her, trying to read her body language but she gave nothing away. Even to him. Hadn't for awhile now, his brain reminded him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He broke the silence softly but it still made her jump, he smiled apologetically, “Sorry.”

“It's fine, it's just--” She stopped herself short and gave him a playful smile, “Do you even have a penny?”

“No,” Barry chuckled lightly. But when she didn't speak again he reached across the space between them and bumped her snow boot with his finger, “Really though...”

She let out a deep breath, running her hands down her shins as she pulled her legs in closer, “I guess I just... don't know what to expect when we find him, you know? I haven't seen him for so long what if he's not the same? What if he was never who I thought he was?”

“Cait...”

“I keep thinking what if he had powers back then? And if he had them when he disappeared and they're anything like mine were that means he didn't have anyone like I had you... and Cisco, and the team, he was alone. I almost lost myself, what if he actually did?”

Barry was sitting up now, moving as she talked to sit in front of her. Yet she wouldn't meet his eyes as he crossed his legs under himself to get closer.

“Hey,  _ you _ broke yourself out of Frost in the end and you two seemed pretty tight before... you know. What makes you think your father couldn't have done that as well if he had his own alter ego?”

Caitlin sighed again and ran a hand through her hair, “I guess your right, Frost and I did develop a friendship of sorts. Maybe he did the same?” She glanced up at him, eyes searching for something before she shook her head and moved on, “What about you though? How are you dealing with this? With my dad being alive I mean.”

Barry furrowed his brows at her in confusion.

“I know it's probably hard for you, Barry. You're happy for me and that maybe I have a chance to have a relationship with him but it hurts a little too.”

“How did you...?” Barry started but trailed off as she chuckled quietly, though it was a little hollow.

“Because I've been there. Seeing you with Joe and your father, like when you laughed and hugged each other. I was happy for you every time but part of me hurt because I would never get that with mine...”

Barry looked down at his hands, nodding before finding the courage to meet her eyes again, “You’re right, it hurts a little... but if anyone deserves to be happy it's you. After everything you've been through? You deserve it. And now you may get that chance, how could I be anything but happy for you?”

She tried to give him a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes as she looked away. Her mind still swimming with doubts, worry over what was to come. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her like he had in times before but he knew he couldn't, everything in the past, present, and future holding him back. But that window into her mind was finally open again and he knew the doubts that had ensnared her thoughts. 

“Caitlin--” He started only for her doubts to come spilling out of her own mouth first, tears in her eyes as she said,

“We're so close and we've come  _ so _ far. But what if I've come all this way only to learn my father wants nothing to do with me?”

Barry's heart constricted as her words struck him. How could she ever think someone would want nothing to do with her? And if it was true then her father was an idiot, but he couldn't make himself believe that. No idiot could be the father of Caitlin Snow.

“Nah. I wouldn't worry about that,” Barry shrugged casually causing Caitlin to shoot him a confused look, if not a little offended that he seemingly wasn't taking this seriously, “If he's anything like you, and from what I've heard he is, then he's one of the most kind hearted, selfless people to walk this earth and the only reason someone as smart as him would leave his incredible daughter behind would be to keep her safe.”

Caitlin blinked in surprise, biting at her lower lip to keep her emotions inside. But Barry really wished she wouldn't. 

“Thank you,” She said almost inaudibly, “I’m sure it's why you left Nora too.”

Barry's face fell at the turn in conversation. Caitlin noticed and quickly continued,

“Barry, you know you wouldn't have left her if it wasn't to keep her safe. You did it for her, for Central City, for everyone. So that they could have a future even if you didn't. She missed you but she understands, I know she does. You're a hero and when people are in danger you-- you  _ have _ to go.”

He met her watery eyes slowly, feeling tears sting his own. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to miss all of Nora’s firsts, he didn't want to miss all of her life but he knew Caitlin was right as he nodded slightly glancing away... she was always right. And no matter what the paper said he'd go every time. To protect all of them. He had too. But when Nora had shown him he never came back it all had finally hit him. The article he had been running towards, protecting at all costs, since he first saw it finally became real. It was like he finally read the headline for the first time. Flash  _ vanishes _ . How could he have not seen it before?

“Can you promise me something?” He asked hesitantly.

“What is it?” Caitlin responded intently listening already.

“I don't know how much you know about Nora and Iris and everything that happens there but... when Nora turns eighteen could you and Cisco please tell her about her powers? Train her like you trained me? Could you just... take care of her for me?”

Caitlin’s face softened immediately as her brown eyes became so warm and inviting, yet a little sadness still tinged their edges.

“Of course, Barry. I promise we’ll take care of her, you'd do the same for us.”

They exchanged small comforting smiles before Caitlin reached out and touched his arm.

“And I promise we'll do everything in our power to make sure  _ you're _ the one who will be able to train her. We are going to do everything we can on this earth and fifty-one others to make sure that future never comes to fruition.”

The conviction blazed so powerfully in her eyes Barry got lost in them. When she was looking at him like that he couldn't help himself but believe maybe there was a chance, that maybe there was hope.

“But... if somehow that article never changes, I promise we'll make sure Nora's future does.”

She squeezed his arm gently and before Barry's mind caught up with his body he was rising off the floor and pulling her up with him, drawing her into his arms to hug her tightly against him. Warmed to his toes when she responded in kind.

“Thank you,” He whispered into her hair as she wrapped her arms around him tighter.

He held her there for as long as he could, a sense of peace washing over him. They'd fight the future with everything they had but even if they failed at least he wouldn't fail Nora. He could leave her in the care of the best people he knew. But in this moment, as he held Caitlin close, her hands comforting on his back, his heart ached painfully. Praying to anyone that was listening that he wouldn't disappear. That he wouldn't have to leave them. And that for once he didn't have to go.

Caitlin began to pull away first and they met each other's eyes. Barry could hardly remember the last time this had happened, since he and Caitlin had talked like this. The kind of talks where they connected so deeply and felt a little less broken afterwards. 

Gone were those two lost and heartbroken young adults whose world’s had to get turned upside down in order for them to meet. Now five years later they were among other things wiser, stronger, and more experienced to its trials and tribulations. But who would've thought they'd become so important to each other? Well Barry had, at least he had hoped they would but he could've never imagined how much so. Caitlin Snow was a constant need in his life and he knew just how lost he'd be without her. Yet still so much had changed since then.

Cisco's sudden snore startled them, causing them to chuckle awkwardly as they pulled away.

“We should get some rest,” They said together and chuckled again as they retook their spots on the floor.

“Yeah, got to be well rested when we meet your  _ cool _ dad tomorrow,” Barry joked and Caitlin groaned, rolling her eyes heatlessly.

“Not you too. Seriously you and Cisco need to stop with the ice puns, he's been driving me crazy all week.”

“So would you prefer we go back to the Elsa jokes?”

She scowled at him before chucking her glove, hitting him square in the chest.

“Hey, not nice,” He laughed, tossing the glove back to her and then turning away to retrieve his phone.

“Ouch,” He muttered when he finally dug it out of his coat's pocket and saw it was 4am, “Well still no reception and we only got two hours before we have to get up, unless you want to change...”

His voice faded away as he looked over and saw Caitlin laying down with her head against her backpack, eyes closed, and breathing steady with the smallest smile on her face as she drifted deeper into sleep. He grabbed one of the extra blankets, laying it over her so she wouldn't get cold.

“Night Cait,” He whispered, grinning as she snuggled in to the extra warmth before going back to his spot. As he laid down, pulling the blanket over himself, he took another chance to glance over at her. 

Her small smile reminded him of days long gone by when she used to barely smile at all. So much had changed since then, it all became so twisted and confusing and he wasn't sure if he liked where they had ended up. But as he thought over their conversation he wondered if maybe the headline wasn't the only thing that needed to change in the future.

He shifted on his back to stare back up at the ceiling. Listening to the heating unit, the rustling of papers, and his friend's steady breathing as he drifted off to sleep. Caitlin’s words of change echoing in his mind as a smile of his own came to his face. They'd face the future together, he wouldn't disappear if they had anything to say about it, and suddenly the possibilities are endless...

 

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously guys this one was really fun to write, I wrote it in two days which I think is the fastest I've ever written anything lol Thank you so much again @mystiqueenchant for allowing me work with your wonderful prompt and working on it with me! I hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
